Potty Training

Toddlerhood

Nov 21

When to Begin?

Most kids potty train sometime between ages 2 and 3. It’s possible to start earlier (say 18 months), but it might take longer for them to really master.
- If your child shows interest earlier, you can take a more casual approach for a few months where they still wear diapers, but you have the potty on hand in case they want to try going on it…and then eventually, you can do the more official method I outline below
Here are some of the “readiness” signs to look for:

It’s required for a preschool or summer camp
You have a major life change coming (new baby, move) and you want to knock this off long before. If you don’t have time to do it before or your child doesn’t seem ready, then I’d wait for a while after the change to avoid overwhelming them.

On average, girls are ready to potty train earlier than boys and learn it more quickly

Gear

I know it may seem crazy to have 3 different potties, but each serves a distinct purpose!

BabyBjorn Potty: this is the primary at-home potty, especially in the beginning, as it’s very lightweight and can easily be moved from room to room

Toilet Seat with Step Stool: this goes on top of a normal toilet (and folds up when not in use) so we kept it in the most frequently used bathroom. I’d encourage its use for poops because then you can just flush after (vs. having to transfer poo from potty to toilet)

OXO (for on-the-go): this collapses to be very portable and uses disposable bags, so it’s perfect for bringing to the playground, keeping in your car trunk, etc.

Kids Books:

Two great, generic books: Potty and Diapers are Not Forever
If your child has a favorite character/show, chances are they have a potty book:
- Elmo: P is for Potty (kids love the lift-the-flaps)
- Peppa Pig: Let’s Go Potty
- Paw Patrol: Potty Patrol
- Daniel Tiger: Potty Time

Method

My recommendation is basically the method in the famous book Oh Crap - if you read it, don’t feel like you need to follow it to a T to be successful, you should feel empowered to tweak it for your needs.
Every kid and family is different but here are my general suggestions:

You’ll spend most of the weekend at home watching your kid like a hawk
That said, I don’t think this means you need to clear all plans - you can still have friends over, you’ll just need to monitor your kid very closely. This is where I diverge from the Oh Crap method - to keep your sanity, you can still leave the house to go out to the playground and just put diapers back on for that.

Bring your potty to within a couple feet of where your child is playing so that as soon as they give an indication they have to go, you can help plop them down on it

For boys, have them pee sitting down until they’re fully potty trained and then you can introduce standing up later, since it require much more aim

In the first few days or weeks (there’s huge variation in how long this stuff takes), you’ll want to ask your kid if they need to go about every 30 mins or so. Eventually they will self-initiate.
We were stressed about our rugs (we stupidly have white ones!) but if there are accidents, it comes out fine if you address it quickly- this little vacuum is amazing
If it’s warm enough weather and you have outdoor space, it can be nice and less stressful to spend time outside

When you’re out of the house, have a period of pants/dresses but no underwear (and same with at home, once you’ve transitioned from bottomless)
The theory here is that underwear feels very similar to a diaper and thus makes it harder for them to remember that they can’t just pee in there
Once you feel ready for underwear (I’d say a few weeks with no accidents) we liked these training undies and Hanna Andersson too (girls and boys)

Try to prompt before/after any new activity - before lunch, after lunch, before heading to the playground, after you return from playground, etc.
When you bring the potty to the park/playground, remind your child where you set it up (and in the beginning, move it if they go to a new area so it’s never too far)

Obviously accidents will happen and you don’t want to make a huge deal about it and make your kid feel bad
But rather than just say “it’s okay, accidents happen!” it’s important to kindly but clearly reiterate what they should do next time: “Pee-pee needs to go in the potty, next time you have to tell mama”
Keep a change of pants in your stroller and/or car for outings
If there’s any major change - travel, move, new baby - you should expect some regression but you won’t have to restart from zero

Our daughter was getting annoyed at how often we were prompting her and we worried it might backfire, so we eased up the frequency and started to just trust her more
Even tweaking our language helped - instead of asking “do you have to go pee-pee?” (which would receive a loud “no!”), we would just remind her by saying “you tell Mama when you have to go pee-pee” (“okay”)
All kids love praise so def celebrate whenever they have a successful potty win - if stickers are a powerful currency, use that as a reward
We also motivated our daughter by promising to read a book or tell her a story if she sat on the potty

You’ll want to dress them in pants/dresses that are very easy for them to manage, especially once they’re at the stage of self-initiating potty visits unprompted
This means minimize buttons/snaps, and avoid long dresses that are hard to hitch up

Continue to use diapers for sleep and explain this to your kid “we don’t use diapers during the day anymore, but sometimes you have to pee while you’re sleeping so we still wear them for sleep!”
Still, get them in the habit of going pee right before nap and bedtime, and take the diaper off pretty much as soon as they wake up
Eventually, you can ditch the diaper for naps (since nap is a lot shorter than nighttime), but wait until you notice your child consistently waking up with a dry diaper

We would usually put a diaper on for long car rides, flights, soccer, and wedding ceremonies, when it would be a hassle to deal with the potty

Just like with naps/bedtime, still get in the habit of having them go in the potty before the car/flight/etc, even if you’re putting a diaper on after

But at home, you should be pretty strict about no diapers once you’ve started, otherwise it will be confusing

San Francisco Preschools