Choosing a Preschool

Enrolling your child in preschool is an amazing way to expand their horizons and help them learn to function in a larger, social community. Even the best nanny or stay-at-home parent can’t create the kind of rich and varied experiences that occur when you bring a group of children together and expose them to new materials and ideas.

But selecting a preschool can be surprisingly overwhelming - below, I try to simplify it by discussing each of the factors you’ll want to consider. 

For San Francisco families, this guidance corresponds with each of the columns in my “SF Preschools” spreadsheet (which includes 160+ top preschools from across the city) so I hope this helps you make the most of that tool.

Location

  • Every family has different priorities, but for most of us, convenience is a huge factor

  • Unless you work at an office near your child’s school, you’ll be doing two round-trips daily for dropoff and pickup, so even a school just 15-minutes away from home becomes at least 60 minutes of commuting time

    • For the right school, it may still be worth it - we decided to go with one 15 minutes away because we loved it so much (La Scuola, if you’re curious!)

  • If you have a school walking distance from home, I’d definitely give that serious consideration, since getting kids in and out of cars is a pain

  • Winnie.com is a great site for searching for preschools in your area

Ages

  • Most preschools start at either 2 or 3 years old; if the school starts at 2, it becomes much more difficult to gain a spot later on, so it’s best to apply for the first year they accept to get in the door

  • Check whether or not the school requires potty training - there is a different license required to deal with diaper changes, so some schools opt to only enroll potty trained children

    • It’s okay if your child isn’t yet potty trained when you apply, you’ll just then have the start of school as a deadline, and I’d leave plenty of buffer (maybe 2-3 months)

    • Check out my tips for potty training

  • Some preschools also offer infant and toddler programs (i.e. daycare) before age 2

    • Enrollment in these programs may help gain admission into the preschool and allow for a smoother transition for the child since they’re already familiar with the place

    • Even if it’s not relevant for your current preschool-age child, it could be a nice option for a future sibling, allowing you to drop them off at the same place for childcare

  • Some preschools are connected to elementary schools, or even a full K-12 school, though they’re often housed in separate buildings

    • Typically, there’s an automatic pipeline from preschool to elementary, so you wouldn’t need to stress about going through a whole other application process again in a few years

Schedules

  • Nearly all schools operate 5 days a week, but some have options for fewer days, typically Tuesday/Thursday or Monday/Wednesday/Friday, especially for younger students 

  • Schools also offer either “full day” programs (usually 9am until at least 3pm/4pm), “half day” programs (ending closer to 12pm/1pm), or both, with a certain number of spots allotted for each

  • In addition, most schools offer “extended care” or “before care/aftercare” for working parents who need longer coverage (usually 8am - 5:30/6pm)

    • This comes at an additional cost, separate from the listed tuition

    • These hours are more unstructured playtime compared to the main school hours, and are sometimes supervised by different staff members

  • In deciding which schedule to choose, it’s pretty obvious for families with two parents working full-time that you want maximum coverage

  • But if one parent isn’t working full-time, or you have other childcare available (e.g. a nanny), it’s a tougher decision

    • For young or sensitive children, it can be nice to ease them into school with a part-time schedule

      • From the child’s perspective, I think it’s better to do a half-day program, 5 days a week, because children really thrive on routine and it can be confusing to go back and forth between school one day and not the next (weekends are already confusing to kids!)

      • But from the parent’s perspective, half-days can feel really short and hard to get anything done, so doing 2 or 3 full days can allow you to better make the most of the days apart and the days together with your child

    • Another factor to consider: a good chunk of the afternoon in the full day program is taken up by nap and snack, so there’s not too much additional learning time

      • If your child naps really well at home, it might not be worth spending the extra money for a full day program

      • But if naps at home are a struggle, children surprisingly tend to sleep better in the group setting - something about the healthy peer pressure and pack mentality (this was the deciding factor for me switching my daughter to full-day her second year)

  • You’ll also want to consider the school’s annual calendar - most run for 10 months, taking July and August off, but some are year-round, 12 month programs

    • Many schools offer optional summer camps so that you retain childcare coverage during those months

Tuition

  • Monthly tuition for a full-time, 5 day a week school in San Francisco ranges from $1,000 - $4,000, with most closer to $2,500/month

  • While this sounds like a lot, it’s actually significantly less expensive than a nanny working 40 hours/week at the standard $30/hour rate, which amounts to ~$4,800/month

  • Many schools offer tuition assistance or sliding scales based on income, so inquire for those details 

  • Cooperative Schools (“coops”) are often much more affordable, but you trade off money for time - parents are required to work a certain number of days in the classroom (often a weekly shift) and hold other school-wide jobs which allows the school to cut costs on staff

School Models

  • There are many different educational philosophies which I’ll delineate below - schools often describe themselves with multiple of these, for instance you can have an “Outdoor Coop preschool that is Reggio-inspired” (“inspired” meaning it only adheres loosely to the official Reggio philosophy)

  • It’s really in vogue to call yourself a “play-based” preschool, but what that actually looks like in practice can vary tremendously - the best way to really assess whether it feels like the right fit for your child is to take a tour of the school while it’s in session

  • There isn’t great data on one or another of these models being “better” in terms of outcomes, so I would pick the style the resonates most with you and your child

    • Children who attend very play-based, non-academic preschools may initially find themselves a bit “behind” on numbers and letters when they enter a more traditional Kindergarten, but they catch up quick 

  • While the model definitely matters, bear in mind that the caliber of the teachers probably makes an even greater difference so I’d assess on that basis to the extent possible

Montessori

  • Emphasis on specific materials and orderly structure of the classroom environment 

  • Learning is self-directed and aimed at increasing children’s independence, especially with motor skills and life tasks like cleaning up after meals

  • Often mixed-age group, where children engage in activities at their own pace

  • More “academic” than other play-based models, with literacy and mathematics

Reggio

  • Probably the most “play-based” of the models - the children’s imagination and interests drive much of the daily activity, within the classroom routines

  • Compared to Montessori, which puts a great emphasis on the individual, Reggio is more social and community-oriented, with the whole classroom gathering and making decisions together

  • Very limited explicit “academic” instruction

Waldorf

  • Huge into nature, the arts and creativity

  • Parental involvement and buy-in to the philosophy is important- some say it can be a bit “cult”-like

  • Very limited explicit “academic” instruction and no screens ever

Project Based/Inquiry/Theme

  • This type of curriculum goes deep on a particular project/topic for a number of weeks, often collaborating in small groups and using different modalities (art, science, etc)

  • Emphasis on documentation - using photo, video, quotations, etc. to capture the learning process for each project

Academic

  • Few preschools actually use this term, but this is how I’d categorize any school that explicitly mentions math, phonics, etc.

  • Often more traditional schools, such as Catholic schools or Mandarin immersion schools 

  • While this is less fashionable these days, it’s definitely not a bad thing as long as there is also warmth and joy in the classroom

Forest

  • While many schools have a major outdoor component to the day (labeled as “Outdoor” on my spreadsheet), Forest schools spend the entire day in nature. Many don’t even have a physical building!

  • This is only feasible/pleasant in places with decent weather year-round, which we’re blessed with in San Francisco 

  • These are inspired by preschools in Scandinavia, and are a great option for active and adventurous kids, who might struggle with sitting in a normal classroom environment 

Mixed Age

  • Many schools group multiple ages in the same classroom, especially Montessori schools, which are already designed to provide more individualized attention based on children’s interests and abilities

  • This has lots of developmental advantages - younger children get to learn from the older ones, who in turn practice leadership and role modeling

  • There is research from Head Start programs that suggests the older children may not progress academically as much as they would if they were only with same-age peers, but since play and socialization are higher priority for many families than academics at this age, that may not be too relevant

Coop

  • In addition to any of the above models, a school may also be a parent cooperative, where every family is responsible for working in the classroom for a certain number of days per month

  • There is still a professional educator there to guide the instruction, but parents are critical to the day-to-day operation of the school

  • In addition to reducing the cost, as mentioned in the tuition section, this model also fosters a really strong sense of community as the parents come to know all the children well and are active participants in their school experience

Language

  • In addition to any of the above educational models, many schools also offer a foreign language, either in addition to English in a bilingual program, or as a full-immersion program

  • Children’s brains at this young age are incredibly plastic and they can pick up new languages with remarkable speed

    • As someone who was initially nervous about sending my child to a brand-new environment where they’d also be immersed in an brand-new language, I can tell you that they learn to understand it within months, if not weeks (though speaking takes a lot longer)

    • Even at a full-immersion school, the teachers are thoughtful about continuing to use some English during the first weeks as they establish routines and get children feeling comfortable

  • While many families at language immersion schools have a personal connection to the language, there are also plenty of families where the parents have little grasp of the language themselves 

    • The school’s official communication to the families will still be in English (perhaps in addition to the foreign language)

    • It may be a fun role reversal for your child to get to teach you something new!

  • For your child to actually retain the language long-term, you’d need to continue their education at a K-8 school that offers that language (if they aren’t hearing it at home)

  • But there are still long-term cognitive benefits (e.g. “cognitive flexibility”) to exposure to a second language, even if the language immersion is only for the preschool years

Meals

  • Some schools provide all meals (included in tuition), while other require you to pack lunch (and sometimes snacks, too)

  • While this sounds like a small factor, included meals are actually a huge perk in my opinion - when kids are all served the same healthy school lunch, there is a good peer pressure that encourages even the pickiest eater to try a wider variety of foods than they might at home

  • And from a parent’s perspective, not having to plan and pack food is a huge burden off your plate - I find it hard enough to think of new things they’ll eat for dinner!

  • Most schools will share weekly meal plans with prospective parents so you can get a sense, and they typically are careful to accommodate dietary needs/allergies 

Reviews

  • As with all things, a good friend who personally vouches for the school carries more weight than any online review

  • In the absence of that, Yelp can be a useful tool, if you use it with a large grain of salt

    • Reading the qualitative reviews can give you a more specific sense for the school beyond their own website - pay most attention to recurring themes that emerge across a number of reviews (both positive and negative) 

    • I’d ignore any reviews from more than 5 years ago - things change a lot at schools

    • When looking at average ratings, remember that a few disgruntled parents can really hurt a school’s rating, especially if there aren’t many reviews in total. You don’t really know the full story by reading just their side.

    • For schools that have multiple campuses or Elementary in addition to Preschool, they are sometimes all listed under the same Yelp page, so you’ll want to search within reviews to read specifically about the program you’re considering

  • You can also find reviews on Winnie.com and GreatSchools.org

Additional Factors (not included on my spreadsheet)

Setting/Size

  • The physical environment of the school can really impact the vibe - obviously you want an inspiring and beautiful place, avoiding anything too drab or too cluttered

  • Adult/child ratios won’t vary dramatically, but what does vary is how many teachers and students total are in a classroom and the broader school, which can change the energy

  • There isn’t right or wrong here, it’s about the right fit for your child

    • An intimate, home based school with a single teacher and just a handful of kids may feel very comfortable for a child who has spent his life so far at home with a nanny/parent

    • Other children, however, might feel pent-up or bored in that kind of environment and would instead thrive in a larger school with more space to roam, people to interact with and resources for special events

Parent Community/Expectations

  • While a Co-op is the extreme end of parent participation, there is a wide spectrum across non-Coop schools in terms of how involved parents are at school and socially among themselves

  • Find out if the school requires a certain number of volunteer hours, what the volunteer opportunities involve, and if there is a Parents Association that hosts social events

  • Some people are excited about the prospects of meeting new parent friends through preschool, while others aren’t looking to expand their own social lives in this way

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